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How to Find your Birth Mother

Linda Collins - October 4, 2019

How to Find your Birth Mother

You too can find your birth mother. This article is a must-read to help you begin your search.

Being adopted at a young age doesn’t mean you’ll never be able to find your birth mother.

Your mother might have given you up for adoption for reasons beyond her control. Maybe to make sure you receive the care and upbringing that she couldn’t afford to give. Or to keep you safe.

Who knows? Maybe she’s been trying but could not locate you all these years.

With the tips in this article on how to find your birth mother, you’ll have a better chance of locating her and bringing your long-overdue reunion to pass.

If you are ready to begin your search, here are the most effective ways to find and reunite with your birth mother.

  1. Social MediaSometimes things are so obvious. Facebook alone has over two billion active accounts. The chances are high that you can find something useful on it or other social media platforms.

    Don’t fret if you can’t find your mom directly via social media. There is still an excellent chance of finding a relative that can point you in the right direction. Of course, for any of this to work, you’ll need at least a start with a name.

    You can get your birth mother’s name from your adopted parents if they have it, or from the adoption agency’s records. If you don’t have a name to work with, you can work from a different angle. Another option is to place a post with your name, picture, place of birth, date of birth, and other relevant information, and post it on your social media page.

    Ask people to share the post until it reaches someone who can provide you with useful information. But note that while this approach has the potential to yield valuable results, it also leaves you exposed to people who might try to take advantage of your plight.

    To be safe, don’t share any information that can be exploited or used against you. If someone responds claiming you are related, use a tool like CheckPeople.com to run a background check to verify their claim.

  2. Adoption RegistriesTaking the adoption registry approach only works if your birth mother is also looking for you via a registry. You’ll also need some information about your mother to begin.

    You can start with Adoption.com, a prominent adoption registry, with an extensive database. It also provides you with links to other databases and helpful information that can facilitate your search.

    If Adoption.com doesn’t provide results that match what you are looking for, don’t give up. Try other registry options as they may have something different or relevant in their database.

  3. DNA RegistriesAre you dealing with a closed adoption? Under a closed adoption, the personal information about your birth mother is sealed. As such, neither your adopted parents nor the adoption agency can provide information

    Also, your birth mother will not be able to access information regarding your adoption that’ll enable her to track you.

    You can remedy this by getting your adoption records unsealed, which will be discussed further later in this article. Alternatively, you can bypass this problem by getting a DNA test. With the DNA test approach, a sample from your birth mother isn’t necessary.

    With the results from just your DNA, a DNA registry like Ancestry or FamilyTree can help you find cousins or other relatives that match your DNA. By interviewing your cousins, or other relatives from your mother’s side, tracking down your birth mom becomes easier.

    Keep in mind that this approach can cost you anywhere between $59 and $200, but it can be a worthwhile investment if you have no useful information regarding your birth mother.

  4. Hire a Private Investigator Some private investigators specialize in helping people track down their birth parents. It’s not a cheap way to get answers, but at least, someone else does all the hard work. Also, an expert private investigator will have access to information and tools that you don’t, which means a higher likelihood of finding your birth mother.

    For instance, a private investigator will be able to access law-enforcement grade databases, which are far more comprehensive than those available to mere civilians. Within this database, the PI likely will find viable leads that bring you closer to locating to your birth mother.

  5. Use CheckPeople.comFor some people, finding their birth mother is as simple as running a background check. With CheckPeople.com, you can background check yourself to find nearby relatives.

    Alternatively, if you have the name of your birth mother or that of some other blood relation, you can run a background check them. Who knows, it may bring you one step closer to finding your birth mother.

    If nothing else, it’s a lot cheaper than hiring a private detective.

Getting the Information Needed to Find Your Birth Mother

Are your adoption records sealed? There is a chance you can get them unsealed. Once unsealed, you’ll have access to all the information provided by the person(s) who put you up for adoption. With this information, finding your birth mother becomes a much easier task.

To get your sealed adoption records unsealed, follow these simple steps:

  1. Contact the county clerk in the county you were adopted. The clerk will provide you with the details needed to unseal your adoption records, including a petition form.
  2. Complete the petition form and submit to the county court. They will set a court date for the hearing of your petition.
  3. On the court date, you’ll get to present your case before a judge who will hear why you want the adoption records unsealed. It’s best if you base your reason less on emotion and more on practicality. Using a medical issue as the reason typically works, but to increase your chances of a favorable judgment, consult with an adoption lawyer.
  4. If you can convince the judge to rule in your favor, they will order to unseal your records.
  5. Your next step is to find a confidential intermediary. The intermediary will attempt to contact your biological mother to negotiate a meeting.

Note that after finding your biological mother, she may decline to meet with you. If this happens, don’t take it too hard. At least you’ll know who she is and can find some closure in that.

Conclusion

Finding your birth mother may be simple for some and not so easy for others. It’s typically easier if you have some details, such as your place and date of birth, and the name of your birth parents, to aid your search.

If your adoption records are closed, the adoption agency may still be willing to provide you with some information that you may find useful. As long as you have your birth mother’s name or that of a close relative, starting your search with a simple background check on CheckPeople.com is a breeze.

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